Update..

7/7/2009

 
My face gets hairy alot faster now.. my beard and sideburns are beginning to connect.. WHEN I let them grow out. I stay clean-shaven most of the time.
My voice seems to still be dropping.
My hairline has receded pretty bad.
It's depressing.
I think I'm going to start rogaine soon.

I'm going through with the surgery.. I've just been struggling because I have Disassociative Identity Disorder.. and I pretty much have a personality separate from myself who is female..
It's hard to explain.. no it doesn't mean I'm not trans.. it just means I have yet another mental problem.
my psychiatrist says that because it's a personality seperate from my own, and that *I* myself don't identify as female, or want to live as one, I'm still supposed to be male, and should keep transitioning.
I want to, anyways. This is who I am.
I'm just getting increasingly more uncomfortable with my chest.. and it's summer now.. and I can't go swimming with my shirt off.. there's a pool in my building too =(
Next summer will be amazing.

By the way, my hysterectomy consultation is in January, so the actual surgery should happen not too long after that. By summer of 2010, I'll be pretty much done. (because I'm not really planning on bottom surgery).

I finally got my levels checked a couple months ago..
and both my testosterone AND estrogen levels were through the roof.
My T was around 51 or something like that.. and Estrogen was around 240.
My blood was taken right after an injection though.. so it's hard to tell if that was due to a spike or not. It doesn't explain the high estrogen level, however. My doctor said my ovaries seem to not want to give up.
It could be conversion.. but we don't know that for sure.. so what I'm going to do is go get my levels tested right before my weekly injection, so my T levels will be at their lowest. We'll see where they're at then.. and adjust dosage if need be.

Umm.. other than that..
I'm pretty lean these days.. with the exception of my huge belly.. I have a small, boy-like bum.. smaller thighs.. smaller waist.. if it weren't for my stomach, I'd be wearing 36 jeans.. I WAS a 40.. so I'm wearing a 38 right now.
My shoulders are huge..
My arms are huge.. my back is huge..
I like all of that stuff. The one thing I don't like is my double chin. I don't know why I have so much fat around my face now =/
I hate it.
I'm really strong and muscular now though.. and I never actually work out..

Maybe if I started working out, I'd lose the chin and the stomach, and tone up even more.
One day, I want to be able to go shirtless at the pride parade like all the other gay boys.. and not gross people out with my fatness =P