The more I shave, the hairier I get.
Still not much hair growing on my stomach.. and less in the treasure trail area than anywhere else on my stomach.. it's weird.

According to everyone else, my voice just keeps getting deeper and deeper, but I don't notice at all.

I had my chest surgery consultation on January 8th (with Dr. De Haas).. everything went smoothly.. my surgery is set to happen on November 25th..

But I can't help but feel really nervous and scared.
I never thought that once everything started coming into place, that I'd be so terrified.

I guess it's normal.. even my therapist said it is.. but I don't know.. whenever I used to think about it, I'd get excited and not be scared at all.. but now that it's happening for sure, I'm really scared.
I've just.. been having some identity issues over the past couple of months..
Of course, I'm scared to talk about it, because people will think it confirms their hunch that I'm not really trans.

Anyways, I forgot to mention something..
My arm muscles are huge, and I haven't done anything to get them that way..
My ex girlfriend was over last week, and she was feeling my arms up, and going "ohmygod! your muscles are so big!"..
And then she felt my thighs and calves too, and she said they're also rock hard.. and I guess that's all true.. I just didn't notice until she pointed it out.. lol

I've lost most of my ass, thighs, and hips.. all of my pants fit really loosely on my legs now.. it's really neat.. I almost want to buy skinny jeans.. BUT I carry most of my fat in my stomach and love handle areas. I have a spare tire.. so I'd have to get rid of it before I attempted to wear something like that.. hah. Seriously though, tire aside, I'm tiny now compared to before!

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